Movie Review- The Last Keeper

Being a witch, I am often disappointed when I watch movies on the topic, as we are often depicted as crazy, vengeful and evil. Hollywood loves to enhance the misconception that one, we can all wield magic and two, that doing so will turn us into bad people. Of course there are a few movies and TV shows that have depicted us in a better light, albeit usually a comical or sappy one.

Tonight, I stumbled upon an old DVD I had purchased last year with a dozen others, when a video store was going out of business. I love the cast which is why I purchased it, but I had completely forgotten about. So since there really wasn't much to watch on the tube, mom and I settled in with a nice plate of spaghetti and a glass of wine.

Now for those of you that like hard core witchy movies, filled with flashy special effects, where good and evil battle it out, this may not be a good pick for you. This is more of a family movie. It's simple and has a nice story that presents witches as Goddess worshipers who are in-tune with the earth.

Here is the write up from the back of the DVD:

"Rhea (Zosia Mamet) is the last in a long line of female mystics who have practiced their magical traditions in secret for centuries. She lives a quiet life in the company of her parents Abigail and John (Virginia Madsen, Aiden Quinn) and her grandmother Rosemarie (Olympia Dukakis). Abigail and Rosemarie each have their own individual powers, but legend has it that a chosen one will inherit all the powers of the mystics and use them to fight evil. As Rhea becomes aware of her destiny and develops her considerable gifts, she is faced with the biggest decision of her young life."



I thoroughly enjoyed this film. It was light-hearted and mostly realistic. You could empathize with each of the characters. In fact, several of them reminded me of people I know. While Virginia Madsen's Abigail did get on my nerves as the over-protective mother, she didn't over play it. The mother annoyed me, but I knew where she was coming from. Of course, her behavior gave the story it's element of predictability. The more she tried to shield her daughter from her destiny, the more Rhea rebelled. As for Olympia Dukakis' portrayal of Rosemarie, I instantly loved her and she never disappointed me the entire film. And then there is Aiden Quinn as John, the father. Okay, I admit, I have always had the biggest crush on Aiden and this movie is no exception. He plays the husband, father, son-in-law we all want in our lives.

Now of course, every teenage coming of age movie has to have some romance and school bullies. Sam Underwood (who I know best as the serial killing twins in "The Following") does an amazing job as the boy, Oliver, who falls in love with Rhea. He is so convincing in the role, I didn't have to remind myself once that Ryan Harding wasn't going to show up and shoot him (The Following fans will get that). Jee Young Han (Nika) and Nat Wolff (Simon) add humor as the best friends of Rhea and Oliver. And in the vein of  with any good John Hughes (Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles) teenage film romance, there is the hot guy Rhea dreams of but he won't have anything to do with her. He is played by Joshua Bowman and he is basically the teenage version of the evil Daniel on Revenge (his current acting gig).

The screenwriter and the director have done a good job of balancing the teen angst, school drama and family in this film. It's a simple and likable story. My only complaint is that it ends with Rhea decided what she wants to do with her gifts but leaves you wanting to see the outcome of that decision play out and how the community deals with witches in the neighborhood. I definitely recommend seeing this film.

Here is the YouTube trailer:



On a side note: the little girl is distracting in the bad wig. Not sure what they hair stylist were thinking.

Who am I?

At some point in our lives, maybe at several points, we all stop and ask ourselves, "Who am I?" "What defines me?" If someone were to write about you what would they say? Would it be the same thing you would write about yourself? What legacy will I, will you leave behind?

Sadly, most of us contemplate this after something challenging or traumatic has occurred in our lives. Is this because, when we are at our lowest, we need answers from the universe the most? How often do we stop and ask these questions when everything seems to be going right in our lives?

For me, I contemplate these things all the time. But then my life could be described as a bad Mexican Soap Opera. (Yes, there is such a thing as a good Mexican Soap Opera, I think.) If I were to sit down and tell you the story of my life, most would not believe it. Why? Because most people go through life and experience one or two tragic or challenging situations. For me, that seems to be at least a yearly occurrence.

Oddly, people who know me describe me as sweet, caring, sunny, always finding the silver lining, loyal, trustworthy, always there for them, kind, patient, idealistic, creative, independent, confident, supportive, nurturing, hard-working, super intelligent, ethical, organized and the two I get the most, positive and strong. (These are from letters and references written about me by others.) So is this what defines me? How other people see me. Or am I defined by how I see myself. Because while I am strong and confident and hard-working and caring, I do would not describe myself in such glowing terms. To me, I am just average. Trying to survive what the world throws at me and give something back.

Am I defined by the triumphs and traumas I have experienced? Some psychologist, behaviorist they may tell you, yes; we are defined by what happens to us in life. That is why a child who is molested will grow up to be a molester. A child not nurtured enough can become a killer or an abuser as an adult. Someone who lives a life of privilege will go on to be generous. Someone deeply loved and nurtured will grow up to be that way. You know what I say to that and those rationals, when I hear them in the news, BULLSHIT. You know why, because there are many who suffer and yet they do not turn on their fellow man. There are just as many who are given the world and yet they remain cold and selfish.

Right or wrong, good or bad, we have free will. WE make our choices. Sometimes we choose wrong, sometimes we choose right. But then one persons right may be anothers wrong, so it's all subjective. When I was dabbling in the online dating scene (very scary for the most part), it always amused me when I came across men's profiles that said "Must be drama free". Really? Seriously? What cave did they just crawl out. Everyone has drama in their lives. EVERYONE. No one is immune. No one gets a free ride on the no drama lifestyle train. That being said, I do know what they mean by that, they just don't know how to phrase it correctly. What they want, what we all want is to be around people who know how to handle drama. It's not the amount of baggage you have, it's how you carry it!

So back to the question. what defines me? I don't have the answer. I am the sum of the things I have learned and lived through; the things I have experienced in life. But how I choose to handle them, what I choose to put out in the world, that is just as much a definer as what I have endured.

By everything I have endured in my life, survived, I should be a very angry, bitter and negative  person. I should be vengeful and filled with hate for those who have used and abused me. Those who have made me suffer for their own gain or simply the thrill of knowing they could. Oh, I have my moments and sometimes they are overwhelming. But it is my choice whether I give in to that. Whether I let myself become no better than them. Most people tell me it's because I'm a survivor, I'm so strong. Guess what, the majority of the time, I don't feel strong. Hell, I don't want to be strong sometimes. There are even times when a person tells me how much they admire my strength, that I just want to smack them. Really, I do. I restrain that urge, because I know they mean well. I know they see the choices I make- the choice to forgive, to turn the other cheek, to even help those who have hurt me.

I choose to focus on the positives in life. I choose to see the good in people, even those that don't really have any good in them (yes, there is evil in the world and people who are just bad. I'm a positive person, not naive). I choose to forgive those that trespass against me. I choose to get up and face the day, each morning, no matter how hard that is sometimes. I choose to keep believing that there is hope and meaning in this world. I choose to keep putting myself out there, no matter how many times people and life try to tear me apart. I choose to be this person, because no matter how hard it gets or how much of a struggle life becomes, I am strong and I am a survivor. I will choose the person I am to be. I will stand up and be a fighter because that is who I want to be. I don't know what the universe(insert your Deity of choice)  wants from me, what my purpose is in this lifetime. But I know I have a purpose. I like to hope that my purpose is to make a difference in someone else's life. If by going through all the things I have endured, if one person can look at me and say, "she did it. I can do this too!"; then it's all been worth it. If I can inspire one person to fight another day; to keep striving for something better, then my life has meant something.

So maybe, just maybe, that is a small part of what defines me. Honestly, I'd like to be defined as a little more than that too, but well, my life's not over yet, so we'll see.

Some of you will read this, and say, "what does she know?" More than you can imagine, I know what it's like to have been sexually molested as a child, what it's like to be held at gun point (more than once), what it's like to be raped, what it's like to be homeless, to be jobless, What it's like to literally lose everything (more than once), what it's like to be in an abusive marriage, what it's like to have a tumor and not know whether it's cancer or not, what it's like to have a debilitating disease for which there is no cure and really no treatment. I know what it's like to be attacked and persecuted by bigots and racists, what it's like to be betrayed and taken advantage of.  I know what it's like to have the person you love ripped away without a moments notice or warning.  I know what it's like to hold a small animal in my arms as it passes from this life after fighting so hard to live. I know what it's like to take care of a child who has been through more horrors than I can even imagine and help them grow into a beautiful adult. I know what it's like to see greed and the love of money tear a family apart, I know what it's like to sit by someones side, some one who lived a noble and vibrant life, become a shell in a body that outlives their mind.  And I know what it's like to make the wrong choices, sometimes more often than I want to admit.

These are just a few of the things I have and am surviving. But you know what, I also know what it's like to be loved by strangers, to have parent's that taught me values and have always loved me no matter what, what's it's like to live a life of privilege, what it's like to save a life, what it's like to lift someone else up out of despair and what it's like to really live, not just exist. This list may seem shorter, but it eclipses all the bad, all the negative.

I have been meaning to write this post for several weeks now, but have been procrastinating. When I woke up this morning, I was down. I was facing one more rejection, one more reminder of things that had recently been done to me by self centered people whom I made the bad choice of believing in. It was hard to fight back the tears. All I could think of is, "why do I bother? What's the use. I'm so tired of trying and fighting to keep going." I wanted to just go back to sleep and forget the world existed, but these two little black fur balls were determined to get some love and started a purrfest next to me. And then, when I came out of my room, happy panting faces greeted me, patiently waiting for me to come down the hall so they could slobber (their version of good morning kisses) on me. And my mom was there saying, "Let's get out of the house." So I took a shower and got dressed and began going through the motions. We went out to eat, something we can't afford to do often and she patiently listened to me rant about the anger I feel at trusting and believing in people who only cared about themselves and how once again, I had lost the majority of my worldly possessions when these people thrive and continue to use others, never getting the karma they deserve. And then of course I got down and mad at myself, because I don't want to be this person. I don't like being angry and negative and I know it hurts her because she, like all wonderful mom's, wants to make it right for me. So after lunch, we came home, and I came back to my little room, which is my sanctuary now. I booted up the computer to check emails and do more job hunting. But then I decided that I needed to write this post. Some of my readers are probably wishing I had refrained since it is longer than usual. :)  And in the process of writing this, it helped me remember how blessed I really am and how much, even I need to remember to stay focused on the positive.

So what does this say about who I am and what defines me? I am defined by the million little moments that make up my life and I have to stay vigilant to make them mean something.

Figure out who you are or maybe just who you want to be. Choose what defines you and don't wait until life throws you the tragedy curve ball to decide what that definition will be. But above all us, we are all survivors, so never give up the fight!

The Passing of Time

It is so hard to believe it has been 18 months since we lost David. It feels like yesterday, we were talking and laughing, yet it also feels like it was another lifetime ago. So many things have happened in these past eighteen months yet not a day goes by that he is not in my thoughts or I come across a reminder of our short life together. We believe in past lives, multiple lives. I often wonder who we were in our past lives and who will be in the future ones. I wonder how long it will take for us to find each other in the next life. In this one it took me 41 years. We had such a short time together, yet we knew each other better than most people ever get a chance to know one another. I learned so much from our time together.

We started this blog together, as we started our journey into paganism. We had both been touched by it and drawn to it throughout our lives, but it was not until we found each other that we felt comfortable pursuing our path. We started this after we had received our priest and priestess status in Wicca. Something that is supposed to take a year and a day, but is a journey that last much longer. The coven, we originally belonged to is no more, at least not in that form. It dissolved and began anew in a new light. I learned and continue to learn so much from my sisters. None shared my blood, but they are my family and will continue to be in this and the future lives I live.

For those who read this and are new to their path, maybe new to Wicca or to another form of paganism, I share what I have learned these many months since I was introduced to my former coven and since the death of my beloved. Like any type of group, our coven changed over time, with members no longer being a apart of our rituals or with some coming and going, personalities clashing, repelling each other and then coming back together. What we shared as a coven was a beautiful yet sometimes hurtful thing. Each of us has gone our own way at this point, but the important thing, the thing I cherish, is that I have a bond with those magical ladies, that no matter what happens in life or how far away we travel, in distance or in ideology, we are connected by a thread.

David and my dream for this blog was to share what we learned. I gave up that, when he passed. It was too hard to do this on my own. The words would not come. Hell, I couldn't even read any more. For those that know me, that was hard. I had been known to read three to four novels a week. I had over 2000 books and they began to gather dust. I tried, many times to read, but I could never focus on more than a few pages. As much as I wanted to get lost in the words of others, I just remained lost. Then one day not long ago, a very dear friend, Anna L Walls sent me a box of her books and I was able to read one. Maybe it's because she writes from a different place than most of the books I read. Maybe because she is just that gifted (which I believe is the truth behind it).  Maybe because her characters are able to touch parts of me that I allowed to go dormant. Sadly, many books, authors, who I used to love, can no longer keep my focus.

Writing has also become harder, but I'm not giving up. I am determined to take Ember through her journey and I thank the many fans who have patiently waited for me to continue her story. I have learned that sometimes, I have to post short passages, because her story will start and then go dark in my head. Maybe that is because she is also on a journey and her story is teaching me more abut my own. This blog also is going to be a journey. What started as our journey to help other novices, will now be my journey and hopefully it will still help the novice practitioners but also those who are just looking for something that rings true for them as well. I can't promise it will always be exciting or posted on a regular basis, but it will true and life as experienced by one someone eccentric yet simple woman trying to figure it all out.

Blessed Be
Willow Drake

Who was David Drake.......

 

On April 4, 2010, my life changed profoundly. I met an amazing and funny man with beautiful blue eyes, who said he was looking for a book nerd and candlelight goddess in one. Well I knew I had the book nerd down and since I was always burning candles, I sent him a message that said simply, "Nice eyes". He responded by saying, "Thanks. I got them on sale."

Over the next few months, we wrote often and eventually began to talk on the phone and finally after many months had passed we met in person. That first day was first of many amazing days together. I knew I loved him before we ever met in person but on that day, after hours of walking around and talking he leaned down and like the perfect gentleman he was, he kissed my forehead and I knew he was the one. And so began the most wonderful journey. over the next few years, we got married, we loved, we argued, we laughed and we took of each other and this past year we grew not only together but individually. Both of us overcoming demons of our past and planning our futures. We became more spiritual and we grew closer than I ever imagined two people could be. We could be in separate rooms and finish each others sentences.

On October 27, 2012, my life was profoundly changed again, when David unexpected passed from our realm. For me this was a devastation I can not begin to put into words as I futility begged for it to all be a bad dream because I selfishly needed to still have him physically with me. But David is a child of light and such a pure soul that he was needed on another plane where he could do what he does best which is take care of people. He showed me this in the days after he passed in the many people he touched in his life here. As people came to me for comfort in his loss, I discovered even more about his caring and generous nature. I also discovered that he was watching over many of us at the same time in the form of a single crow that would appear in strange places and at odd times when we needed a little strength to get through the day without the gentle giant we all loved and depended on. David understood what unconditional love was and he gave it freely to all. I was so blessed to bask in that love for the short time we were together. I learned so much from him about love and about myself. Lessons, I will honour him by using and sharing with those in my life and those I meet until it is my time to leave this earthly realm and reunite with the other half of my soul.

Here are a few words that barely come close to describing what an amazing person he was:

David was the purest soul I have ever met. His inner light touched so many people and he shared both that light and his love with everyone he knew, never asking for it in return. He was a humble man, who gave of himself freely and never knew how special we all knew he was. He didn’t see that in himself. When he helped another it was because he said “that is what you are supposed to do”.  He never felt like he deserved love and kindness in return because so often he didn’t receive it back from those whose lives he touched. He was fun loving and playful and often people didn’t realize what a beautiful complex mind he had. He was one of the smartest men I have known and he gave away his wisdom freely. Not to appear better but because he loved helping others. He was my gentle giant, whom children and animals flocked to, because they saw that light inside him. He was a rock, dropping everything to lend a hand, make someone smile or offering a shoulder to lean on. He was my Yeti, so strong, helping people move and carrying things it would take 2-3 others to lift. He was handyman; there was nothing he couldn’t fix. He was my security blanket, the safest place in all the world was in his arms. He was everything a man is supposed to be. He wasn’t perfect but the few flaws he had only made him more beautiful and that is why he has touched so many of us. 

He valued and loved his family with every fiber of his being, especially his children. For those who were blessed to hear him talk of how proud he was of them and how much he loved them, they got to bask in the glow thinking of his children made him shine with. He was so much more than a son, a brother, a father, a husband, a man.  He wasn’t a movie star or a politician or any other type of famous person, but the world has lost a truly magnificent soul far too soon.

Here is a beautiful passage from something David wrote weeks before he died,

“In an instant Nature can prove just how small we really are. It is within chaos that we find worth, only because we are able to lose ourselves in a false sense of meaning. Nature is a constant static of change that affects us all on a cellular level that can and will at any time, humble the greatest. My focus as of late has been drawn to Nature and all her wonderfulness!! I'm glad she has always been my comfort. Full of wonder! A never-ending story of wonder and mystery. People can only give so much to one another. Nature shares her never ending energy to us freely. When you find yourself off balance or unsure about life and those in it, take a few to return to the Mother and all her beauty. Become connected to what is real and know as the connection grows, how less important those things that bring us down are.”

For more of his inspiring words read Seth's Spiritual Space on this blog or read some of his posts on Facebook. So many loved him and I have left up his FB page for those that need it.

An amazing man, who left us too soon. We do not say goodbye, only that we will see you in the morning....

2/2/72 to 10/27/12

Love song to David......

For those of you following, many know that a week ago, my beloved David passed away. This song so perfectly describes how he made me feel and how eternal my love for him is.....

Relationship Reflections

My wonderful husband, David, posted a belief passage on FB last night which prompted me, and hopefully a few others,  to think about myself. from time to time we all need to take a step back and look at ourselves and the energy we are putting out in the world and the energy we are receiving from those people and things around us. ultimately we all want our lives to be balanced yet in today's hustle bustle, drama filled world that is often hard to maintain.

An itaglio I did in college called Reflection

 

So here are a few thoughts that resonated with me. Maybe they will with you as well.

"The Most Important relationship in the world is one you have with yourself; everything and everyone is a direct reflection of the quality of that relationship."

 Posted on FB by Wicca Radio      

  

 

And David's post.....

 

“In an instant Nature can prove just how small we really are. It is within chaos that we find worth, only because we are able to lose ourselves in a false sense of meaning. Nature is a constant static of change that affects us all on a cellular level that can and will at any time, humble the greatest. My focus as of late has been drawn to Nature and all her wonderfulness!! I'm glad she has always been my comfort. Full of wonder! A never ending story of wonder and mystery. People can only give so much to one another. Nature shares her never ending energy to us freely. When you find yourself off balance or unsure about life and those in it, take a few to return to the Mother and all her beauty. Become connected to what is real and know as the connection grows, how less important those things that bring us down are. Before you assume anything, question what you think your worth is. Seem accurate? Most of all, assume nothing when it comes to another. It just may be that you really aren't that important and humor is easily found in the control dramas you spin so as to make another “feel” as you choose. I walk lighter knowing that I own myself, besides what I give to Willow and what I give others, own. Anyone want to share lessons learned? Or maybe you have something to ask. If you concern yourself with the well being of life, Mother Earth and share a connection to the Old Way, feel free to share with a comment. B.F.”

 

Wicca in the Kitchen

Cunningham’s Encyclopedia of Wicca in the Kitchen by Scott Cunningham is an excellent resource for those new to the pagan path, as well as, those who have been on their journey for decades. One of the things I love most about Cunningham’s books is that he leaves no stones unturned or in this case, no herbs un-ground. You do not even have to be pagan to enjoy the insights and knowledge he imparts. 

What do we all have to do? Eat. For some eating is just a mindless necessity to be engaged in at set times. For those of us in tune with nature and the energies of the world, and those that understand all action produces an effect or consequence, Cunningham has put together a tome that teaches the properties of various herbs, vegetables, fruits, meats, and other staples and so much more. He says on page 12, “Magic doesn’t produce miracles; it produces needed changes.” These are wise words we should all learn to go through our everyday activities remembering, because magic is all around us and constantly changing our lives.

Virtually any item in your pantry can be used for personal transformation. Food contains magical energies you can harness for positive results. Whether you want to boost psychic awareness, bring love in your life, improve health, bring more money into your life, Wicca in the Kitchen, provides you with the steps and the wisdom to achieve these goals and many more.  This encyclopedia offers magical menus and many of Cunningham’s favorite recipes.

Another thing I love about Cunningham’s writing is that he gives examples of everyday people and how they would enhance their lives with simply understanding what energies they are bringing forth when preparing meals.  As he says on page 20, “Food is a manifestation of divine energies that’s vital to our survival. Approaching food from this frame of mind makes it easier to utilize it as a tool of self-transformation.”

One thing is certain you will never look at food the same way after reading this book. You will probably also have the urge, to  write down all the things you wish to change in your life and then go forage for all the items needed to stock your pantry,  in case the moment to affect those changes arises. Be always mindful; however, that food magic should never be used to affect others without their permission.

Finally, do not feel like you have to be a gourmet chef to benefit from this book, like so many other cooking aides seem to be written for. Like those of us following the path, this book is very down to earth. It is also open-minded in that Cunningham understands not everyone has the same access to fresh ingredients all the time. He even covers the magical uses of junk and processed foods. Yes, even they have their place. And for those who can’t resist the occasional trip to Micky D’s you’ll be happy to know that  ordering that fish sandwich can enhance your psychic awareness (maybe not the best thing in a fast food chain), that those French fries  can offer grounding and protection, and that strawberry shake may just bring some love into your life.

A must read and a great addition to any library!!

(I originally wrote this post for the Fellowship of the Crow.)