It is so hard to believe it has been 18 months since we lost David. It feels like yesterday, we were talking and laughing, yet it also feels like it was another lifetime ago. So many things have happened in these past eighteen months yet not a day goes by that he is not in my thoughts or I come across a reminder of our short life together. We believe in past lives, multiple lives. I often wonder who we were in our past lives and who will be in the future ones. I wonder how long it will take for us to find each other in the next life. In this one it took me 41 years. We had such a short time together, yet we knew each other better than most people ever get a chance to know one another. I learned so much from our time together.
We started this blog together, as we started our journey into paganism. We had both been touched by it and drawn to it throughout our lives, but it was not until we found each other that we felt comfortable pursuing our path. We started this after we had received our priest and priestess status in Wicca. Something that is supposed to take a year and a day, but is a journey that last much longer. The coven, we originally belonged to is no more, at least not in that form. It dissolved and began anew in a new light. I learned and continue to learn so much from my sisters. None shared my blood, but they are my family and will continue to be in this and the future lives I live.
For those who read this and are new to their path, maybe new to Wicca or to another form of paganism, I share what I have learned these many months since I was introduced to my former coven and since the death of my beloved. Like any type of group, our coven changed over time, with members no longer being a apart of our rituals or with some coming and going, personalities clashing, repelling each other and then coming back together. What we shared as a coven was a beautiful yet sometimes hurtful thing. Each of us has gone our own way at this point, but the important thing, the thing I cherish, is that I have a bond with those magical ladies, that no matter what happens in life or how far away we travel, in distance or in ideology, we are connected by a thread.
David and my dream for this blog was to share what we learned. I gave up that, when he passed. It was too hard to do this on my own. The words would not come. Hell, I couldn't even read any more. For those that know me, that was hard. I had been known to read three to four novels a week. I had over 2000 books and they began to gather dust. I tried, many times to read, but I could never focus on more than a few pages. As much as I wanted to get lost in the words of others, I just remained lost. Then one day not long ago, a very dear friend, Anna L Walls sent me a box of her books and I was able to read one. Maybe it's because she writes from a different place than most of the books I read. Maybe because she is just that gifted (which I believe is the truth behind it). Maybe because her characters are able to touch parts of me that I allowed to go dormant. Sadly, many books, authors, who I used to love, can no longer keep my focus.
Writing has also become harder, but I'm not giving up. I am determined to take Ember through her journey and I thank the many fans who have patiently waited for me to continue her story. I have learned that sometimes, I have to post short passages, because her story will start and then go dark in my head. Maybe that is because she is also on a journey and her story is teaching me more abut my own. This blog also is going to be a journey. What started as our journey to help other novices, will now be my journey and hopefully it will still help the novice practitioners but also those who are just looking for something that rings true for them as well. I can't promise it will always be exciting or posted on a regular basis, but it will true and life as experienced by one someone eccentric yet simple woman trying to figure it all out.
Blessed Be
Willow Drake
