Wild Heart Herbals & Nuturing the Wild Heart

We live in a synthetic over-processed world and for those of us who live in the city it's sometimes hard to find all natural products. Oh, the big companies are trending with "natural" products, but few really live up to the name. Most still have chemicals in their ingredients. I would love to study herbalology and natural medicine, but my life is often topsy-turvy and hectic. I have a hard enough time keeping up with my writing, as my followers know, so taking on studying is just not practical at this stage in my life. That being said, I do want to get away from the chemicals that seem coat our lives. Luckily, I have been blessed with a lovely friend, who makes truly natural products that I can't get enough of.

Every so often she sends me a care package of her wares. It always makes my day when I see her return address on a package (pictured above are just some of the goodies I have received) because I know whatever is waiting inside will be wonderful. And while I love all of her concoctions, there are few items I am obsessed with. the chapstick/lipbalms are heaven. No artificial flavors or dyes. as someone who has lipbalms stashed everywhere, these are to die for. I can't remember when the last time I had chapped lips. I highly recommend buying multiples of these. But the one item  I can't live without is the all healing salve pictured above. I believe she calls it the Magic Salve, now that she is marketing these.

Let me tell you why I love this miracle of hers so much. I have Sjogren's Syndrone.  It is a very rare auto-immune disease. The short story is, my immune system attacks my lymphatic systems and I have no moisture in my body. Now as auto-immune diseases go, while annoying, with lots of water and special mouthwashes, nasal sprays, eye drops, lotions etc.... it won't kill you. Unfortunately one of the worst side effects of this is that my skin feels like every inch is covered with a really bad case of poison ivy... 24/7. There is no relief to the dry itchy skin. Unfortunately for me, my life tends be stress filled (her tinctures are a soothing treat) and I scratch when my nerves are bad. I also tend to get hives easily as I'm more sensitive to everything due to the dryness. Because of this, I have spent years and countless dollars seeing all sorts of doctors, getting shots, and trying various pharmaceuticals and prescription lotions. Nothing has ever made my skin clear up, until  Misty sent me a jar of her all healing salve. For the first time in years, I could actually go in public and not have my legs and arms covered. I am a very private person (also a little vane) and there are only a handful of people who have ever seen the ravages of my skin condition. And I still scratch relentlessly as hard as I try not to, but Misty has given me a gift I can never repay. She has given me a way to heal my skin and the hope that I can have beautiful skin. For anyone who suffers from an embarrassing skin condition, you know how priceless this is. Now for those reading this, let me be clear, Misty is not a medical practitioner and she makes no claims about her fabulous creations. I only share my personal experience with her healing salve. I must also warn anyone with pets, that her products are 100% natural and apparently taste as good as they smell and work. When I use any of her products, my cats and dogs relentlessly try to get a taste.

I haven't tried all of her creations yet, but the good news is she is selling them now, so others can benefit.. She is still working on setting up a site for her products so in the meantime, check out her products on her Facebook*. Check out her post on December 7, 2014 for some pictures and descriptions of her wares.  I can't wait to try some of her new salves. You can also follow her. You"ll get to share in her magical adventures and get updates when she has new items for sell. It will definitely brighten your days. Her daily "grateful" post will remind you of the blessings in your own life. 


Click on logo to visit the Wild Heart Album on Facebook*

So if you want to know more about my beautiful friend and herbal guru, check out her blog, Nurturing the Wild Heart. Her name is Misty Fouquet. She is the most down to earth woman I have ever met and I am blessed to call her a friend. She lives with her husband, three gorgeous daughters and a menagerie of dogs in eastern NC.

She is truly a beautiful soul and an inspiration to all the lives she touches.



*must sign into Facebook for the Facebook links to work

Movie Review- The Last Keeper

Being a witch, I am often disappointed when I watch movies on the topic, as we are often depicted as crazy, vengeful and evil. Hollywood loves to enhance the misconception that one, we can all wield magic and two, that doing so will turn us into bad people. Of course there are a few movies and TV shows that have depicted us in a better light, albeit usually a comical or sappy one.

Tonight, I stumbled upon an old DVD I had purchased last year with a dozen others, when a video store was going out of business. I love the cast which is why I purchased it, but I had completely forgotten about. So since there really wasn't much to watch on the tube, mom and I settled in with a nice plate of spaghetti and a glass of wine.

Now for those of you that like hard core witchy movies, filled with flashy special effects, where good and evil battle it out, this may not be a good pick for you. This is more of a family movie. It's simple and has a nice story that presents witches as Goddess worshipers who are in-tune with the earth.

Here is the write up from the back of the DVD:

"Rhea (Zosia Mamet) is the last in a long line of female mystics who have practiced their magical traditions in secret for centuries. She lives a quiet life in the company of her parents Abigail and John (Virginia Madsen, Aiden Quinn) and her grandmother Rosemarie (Olympia Dukakis). Abigail and Rosemarie each have their own individual powers, but legend has it that a chosen one will inherit all the powers of the mystics and use them to fight evil. As Rhea becomes aware of her destiny and develops her considerable gifts, she is faced with the biggest decision of her young life."



I thoroughly enjoyed this film. It was light-hearted and mostly realistic. You could empathize with each of the characters. In fact, several of them reminded me of people I know. While Virginia Madsen's Abigail did get on my nerves as the over-protective mother, she didn't over play it. The mother annoyed me, but I knew where she was coming from. Of course, her behavior gave the story it's element of predictability. The more she tried to shield her daughter from her destiny, the more Rhea rebelled. As for Olympia Dukakis' portrayal of Rosemarie, I instantly loved her and she never disappointed me the entire film. And then there is Aiden Quinn as John, the father. Okay, I admit, I have always had the biggest crush on Aiden and this movie is no exception. He plays the husband, father, son-in-law we all want in our lives.

Now of course, every teenage coming of age movie has to have some romance and school bullies. Sam Underwood (who I know best as the serial killing twins in "The Following") does an amazing job as the boy, Oliver, who falls in love with Rhea. He is so convincing in the role, I didn't have to remind myself once that Ryan Harding wasn't going to show up and shoot him (The Following fans will get that). Jee Young Han (Nika) and Nat Wolff (Simon) add humor as the best friends of Rhea and Oliver. And in the vein of  with any good John Hughes (Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles) teenage film romance, there is the hot guy Rhea dreams of but he won't have anything to do with her. He is played by Joshua Bowman and he is basically the teenage version of the evil Daniel on Revenge (his current acting gig).

The screenwriter and the director have done a good job of balancing the teen angst, school drama and family in this film. It's a simple and likable story. My only complaint is that it ends with Rhea decided what she wants to do with her gifts but leaves you wanting to see the outcome of that decision play out and how the community deals with witches in the neighborhood. I definitely recommend seeing this film.

Here is the YouTube trailer:



On a side note: the little girl is distracting in the bad wig. Not sure what they hair stylist were thinking.

Who am I?

At some point in our lives, maybe at several points, we all stop and ask ourselves, "Who am I?" "What defines me?" If someone were to write about you what would they say? Would it be the same thing you would write about yourself? What legacy will I, will you leave behind?

Sadly, most of us contemplate this after something challenging or traumatic has occurred in our lives. Is this because, when we are at our lowest, we need answers from the universe the most? How often do we stop and ask these questions when everything seems to be going right in our lives?

For me, I contemplate these things all the time. But then my life could be described as a bad Mexican Soap Opera. (Yes, there is such a thing as a good Mexican Soap Opera, I think.) If I were to sit down and tell you the story of my life, most would not believe it. Why? Because most people go through life and experience one or two tragic or challenging situations. For me, that seems to be at least a yearly occurrence.

Oddly, people who know me describe me as sweet, caring, sunny, always finding the silver lining, loyal, trustworthy, always there for them, kind, patient, idealistic, creative, independent, confident, supportive, nurturing, hard-working, super intelligent, ethical, organized and the two I get the most, positive and strong. (These are from letters and references written about me by others.) So is this what defines me? How other people see me. Or am I defined by how I see myself. Because while I am strong and confident and hard-working and caring, I do would not describe myself in such glowing terms. To me, I am just average. Trying to survive what the world throws at me and give something back.

Am I defined by the triumphs and traumas I have experienced? Some psychologist, behaviorist they may tell you, yes; we are defined by what happens to us in life. That is why a child who is molested will grow up to be a molester. A child not nurtured enough can become a killer or an abuser as an adult. Someone who lives a life of privilege will go on to be generous. Someone deeply loved and nurtured will grow up to be that way. You know what I say to that and those rationals, when I hear them in the news, BULLSHIT. You know why, because there are many who suffer and yet they do not turn on their fellow man. There are just as many who are given the world and yet they remain cold and selfish.

Right or wrong, good or bad, we have free will. WE make our choices. Sometimes we choose wrong, sometimes we choose right. But then one persons right may be anothers wrong, so it's all subjective. When I was dabbling in the online dating scene (very scary for the most part), it always amused me when I came across men's profiles that said "Must be drama free". Really? Seriously? What cave did they just crawl out. Everyone has drama in their lives. EVERYONE. No one is immune. No one gets a free ride on the no drama lifestyle train. That being said, I do know what they mean by that, they just don't know how to phrase it correctly. What they want, what we all want is to be around people who know how to handle drama. It's not the amount of baggage you have, it's how you carry it!

So back to the question. what defines me? I don't have the answer. I am the sum of the things I have learned and lived through; the things I have experienced in life. But how I choose to handle them, what I choose to put out in the world, that is just as much a definer as what I have endured.

By everything I have endured in my life, survived, I should be a very angry, bitter and negative  person. I should be vengeful and filled with hate for those who have used and abused me. Those who have made me suffer for their own gain or simply the thrill of knowing they could. Oh, I have my moments and sometimes they are overwhelming. But it is my choice whether I give in to that. Whether I let myself become no better than them. Most people tell me it's because I'm a survivor, I'm so strong. Guess what, the majority of the time, I don't feel strong. Hell, I don't want to be strong sometimes. There are even times when a person tells me how much they admire my strength, that I just want to smack them. Really, I do. I restrain that urge, because I know they mean well. I know they see the choices I make- the choice to forgive, to turn the other cheek, to even help those who have hurt me.

I choose to focus on the positives in life. I choose to see the good in people, even those that don't really have any good in them (yes, there is evil in the world and people who are just bad. I'm a positive person, not naive). I choose to forgive those that trespass against me. I choose to get up and face the day, each morning, no matter how hard that is sometimes. I choose to keep believing that there is hope and meaning in this world. I choose to keep putting myself out there, no matter how many times people and life try to tear me apart. I choose to be this person, because no matter how hard it gets or how much of a struggle life becomes, I am strong and I am a survivor. I will choose the person I am to be. I will stand up and be a fighter because that is who I want to be. I don't know what the universe(insert your Deity of choice)  wants from me, what my purpose is in this lifetime. But I know I have a purpose. I like to hope that my purpose is to make a difference in someone else's life. If by going through all the things I have endured, if one person can look at me and say, "she did it. I can do this too!"; then it's all been worth it. If I can inspire one person to fight another day; to keep striving for something better, then my life has meant something.

So maybe, just maybe, that is a small part of what defines me. Honestly, I'd like to be defined as a little more than that too, but well, my life's not over yet, so we'll see.

Some of you will read this, and say, "what does she know?" More than you can imagine, I know what it's like to have been sexually molested as a child, what it's like to be held at gun point (more than once), what it's like to be raped, what it's like to be homeless, to be jobless, What it's like to literally lose everything (more than once), what it's like to be in an abusive marriage, what it's like to have a tumor and not know whether it's cancer or not, what it's like to have a debilitating disease for which there is no cure and really no treatment. I know what it's like to be attacked and persecuted by bigots and racists, what it's like to be betrayed and taken advantage of.  I know what it's like to have the person you love ripped away without a moments notice or warning.  I know what it's like to hold a small animal in my arms as it passes from this life after fighting so hard to live. I know what it's like to take care of a child who has been through more horrors than I can even imagine and help them grow into a beautiful adult. I know what it's like to see greed and the love of money tear a family apart, I know what it's like to sit by someones side, some one who lived a noble and vibrant life, become a shell in a body that outlives their mind.  And I know what it's like to make the wrong choices, sometimes more often than I want to admit.

These are just a few of the things I have and am surviving. But you know what, I also know what it's like to be loved by strangers, to have parent's that taught me values and have always loved me no matter what, what's it's like to live a life of privilege, what it's like to save a life, what it's like to lift someone else up out of despair and what it's like to really live, not just exist. This list may seem shorter, but it eclipses all the bad, all the negative.

I have been meaning to write this post for several weeks now, but have been procrastinating. When I woke up this morning, I was down. I was facing one more rejection, one more reminder of things that had recently been done to me by self centered people whom I made the bad choice of believing in. It was hard to fight back the tears. All I could think of is, "why do I bother? What's the use. I'm so tired of trying and fighting to keep going." I wanted to just go back to sleep and forget the world existed, but these two little black fur balls were determined to get some love and started a purrfest next to me. And then, when I came out of my room, happy panting faces greeted me, patiently waiting for me to come down the hall so they could slobber (their version of good morning kisses) on me. And my mom was there saying, "Let's get out of the house." So I took a shower and got dressed and began going through the motions. We went out to eat, something we can't afford to do often and she patiently listened to me rant about the anger I feel at trusting and believing in people who only cared about themselves and how once again, I had lost the majority of my worldly possessions when these people thrive and continue to use others, never getting the karma they deserve. And then of course I got down and mad at myself, because I don't want to be this person. I don't like being angry and negative and I know it hurts her because she, like all wonderful mom's, wants to make it right for me. So after lunch, we came home, and I came back to my little room, which is my sanctuary now. I booted up the computer to check emails and do more job hunting. But then I decided that I needed to write this post. Some of my readers are probably wishing I had refrained since it is longer than usual. :)  And in the process of writing this, it helped me remember how blessed I really am and how much, even I need to remember to stay focused on the positive.

So what does this say about who I am and what defines me? I am defined by the million little moments that make up my life and I have to stay vigilant to make them mean something.

Figure out who you are or maybe just who you want to be. Choose what defines you and don't wait until life throws you the tragedy curve ball to decide what that definition will be. But above all us, we are all survivors, so never give up the fight!

The Passing of Time

It is so hard to believe it has been 18 months since we lost David. It feels like yesterday, we were talking and laughing, yet it also feels like it was another lifetime ago. So many things have happened in these past eighteen months yet not a day goes by that he is not in my thoughts or I come across a reminder of our short life together. We believe in past lives, multiple lives. I often wonder who we were in our past lives and who will be in the future ones. I wonder how long it will take for us to find each other in the next life. In this one it took me 41 years. We had such a short time together, yet we knew each other better than most people ever get a chance to know one another. I learned so much from our time together.

We started this blog together, as we started our journey into paganism. We had both been touched by it and drawn to it throughout our lives, but it was not until we found each other that we felt comfortable pursuing our path. We started this after we had received our priest and priestess status in Wicca. Something that is supposed to take a year and a day, but is a journey that last much longer. The coven, we originally belonged to is no more, at least not in that form. It dissolved and began anew in a new light. I learned and continue to learn so much from my sisters. None shared my blood, but they are my family and will continue to be in this and the future lives I live.

For those who read this and are new to their path, maybe new to Wicca or to another form of paganism, I share what I have learned these many months since I was introduced to my former coven and since the death of my beloved. Like any type of group, our coven changed over time, with members no longer being a apart of our rituals or with some coming and going, personalities clashing, repelling each other and then coming back together. What we shared as a coven was a beautiful yet sometimes hurtful thing. Each of us has gone our own way at this point, but the important thing, the thing I cherish, is that I have a bond with those magical ladies, that no matter what happens in life or how far away we travel, in distance or in ideology, we are connected by a thread.

David and my dream for this blog was to share what we learned. I gave up that, when he passed. It was too hard to do this on my own. The words would not come. Hell, I couldn't even read any more. For those that know me, that was hard. I had been known to read three to four novels a week. I had over 2000 books and they began to gather dust. I tried, many times to read, but I could never focus on more than a few pages. As much as I wanted to get lost in the words of others, I just remained lost. Then one day not long ago, a very dear friend, Anna L Walls sent me a box of her books and I was able to read one. Maybe it's because she writes from a different place than most of the books I read. Maybe because she is just that gifted (which I believe is the truth behind it).  Maybe because her characters are able to touch parts of me that I allowed to go dormant. Sadly, many books, authors, who I used to love, can no longer keep my focus.

Writing has also become harder, but I'm not giving up. I am determined to take Ember through her journey and I thank the many fans who have patiently waited for me to continue her story. I have learned that sometimes, I have to post short passages, because her story will start and then go dark in my head. Maybe that is because she is also on a journey and her story is teaching me more abut my own. This blog also is going to be a journey. What started as our journey to help other novices, will now be my journey and hopefully it will still help the novice practitioners but also those who are just looking for something that rings true for them as well. I can't promise it will always be exciting or posted on a regular basis, but it will true and life as experienced by one someone eccentric yet simple woman trying to figure it all out.

Blessed Be
Willow Drake